When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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