A man was made the police chief in a nudist colony.
He liked the job, but putting on the badge was murder!
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police.
The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?"
"Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"
Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course”, comes the reply.
The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.”
“Of Course”, replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Scotland are you from?”
“Aberdeen”, comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.”
“Of course”, replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”
“Saint Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!”
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender
“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunk again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
"Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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