Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Vote:
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
Vote:
Yo mama's so lactose intolerant, human kindness makes her throw up!
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Vote:
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck.
And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
A lawyer opens the door of his BMW.
Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly.
‘Officer, look what they’ve done to my car!’ he whines.
‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick,’ replies the officer.
‘You’re so worried about your stupid car, you haven’t even noticed your left arm was ripped off!’
‘Oh my God!’ replies the lawyer.
‘Where’s my Rolex?’