Q: What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? A: The park bench can support a family of five but the Aboriginal can't.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.