Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’ John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company. ‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights? High five!
What do you call an alcoholic dog? A whino!
The six front keys have rotted out.