Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Q: What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? A: The park bench can support a family of five but the Aboriginal can't.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.