Q: What vegetables to librarians like?
A: Quiet peas.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water.
The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood.
The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
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Q: What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench?
A: The park bench can support a family of five but the Aboriginal can't.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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