How do you change a blonde’s mind?
Blow in her ear.
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
I gave up alcohol last year.
It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch into her ear.
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life?
Third grade.
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear?
Data transfer.
Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days?
The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big."
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big."
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right."
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"