A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
A blonde girl walks in the street and sees a banana peel. Sad she was, thinking...damn I will stumble again...!
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)