Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Q: What's all over a clean nose?
A: Fingerprints.
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first place."
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
An airliner is having engine trouble.
The pilot instructs the cabin crew to prepare for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later the pilot asks the flight attendants if everyone is buckled in and ready.
‘All set back here, Captain,’ comes the reply.
‘Except one lawyer.
He’s still going around passing out business cards.’
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Yo momma’s so fat, when she dances the band skips.
A blonde comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts.
‘How can I get to the other side?’
The other blonde looks around then shouts back, ‘You are on the other side!’