Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called?
Warden.
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Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.
Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however.
She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached?
I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg.
Jill wasn't having any of it.
"Do you think I don't like variety?
I wanted poached this morning!"
Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
(A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
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