Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t.
There’s a clock on the stove.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital.
They lay there and looked at each other.
Their families came and took them away.
Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other.
One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’
Steven Wright
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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