When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital.
They lay there and looked at each other.
Their families came and took them away.
Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other.
One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’
Steven Wright
Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t.
There’s a clock on the stove.
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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