Best jokes ever

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

Yo mama so hairy when you were born you almost died of rugburn.

Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.

When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore

Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.