Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q: How do you start a black parade? A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: Who were the first two black women? A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’ Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’ Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.