Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: Who were the first two black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
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You know what I was thinking about right now?
What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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