Best jokes ever

Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position

Why do black people have white hands? They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!

Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.

Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.

Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.

You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.