You know what I was thinking about right now?
What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
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Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.