Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum.
Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal.
Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it.
They take it into the car and continue down the road.
The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do?
He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch.
Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down."
She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that!
That thing is smelly and nasty!"
The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote:
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troops!
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Vote:
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Vote:
Yo mama has been passed around by so many black dudes, they now call her..Spalding!
Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
A blonde keeps checking her mail box.
A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery.
‘No,’ she replies.
‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.