Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with a white person? A: Bestiality.
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.