Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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One night, there was a knock on my door...
i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there...
Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea ....
i said to myself did he just mug me ....
I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night
Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred.
She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock.
After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder.
So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking?
A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
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