Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage?
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible.
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.