Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: "It is nice to see you partner."