How do you know if a blonde has been playing with your Xbox 360?
The joystick is wet.
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Q:How does a bear start a race?
A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
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A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited - she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi Hon," he says.
"How do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it.
It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell.
There's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
An Irish man walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants.
"Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?"
"Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?
A: Booger King!!!