Best jokes ever

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi Hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry? A: Booger King!!!
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online? Thomas the search engine.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the teacher while putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" he asked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whisky and you won't get worms."
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, work
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