A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred.
She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock.
After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder.
So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !