A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
3 girls step on a magic rug that makes u disappear if u tell a lie.
Brunette: I think I'm the prettiest girl in school. *poof*
Red-head: I think I'm the most popular girl in school. *poof*
Blonde: I think-. *poof*
Q: What do you call the most powerful white man on the planet?
A: The President of the Unit...sh*t.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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