A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr.pepper.
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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