Best jokes ever

After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake. I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it. The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class. Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate. After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, school, stupid, time
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?" 2nd Officer: "Who?" 1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!" 2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?" 1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, cop
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: cop, work
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: game, sport
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