Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.
"Have you heard my knock-knock joke?" asked the blonde.
"No," said the brunette.
"Okay," said the blonde, "you start."
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What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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"What are you doing there?"
"I'm making something."
"What are you making?"
"A bomb."
"Can I help?"
"Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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