May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running up a hill?
A: Backed up sewage.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
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Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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"What are you doing there?"
"I'm making something."
"What are you making?"
"A bomb."
"Can I help?"
"Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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