A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.