Best jokes ever

May I push in your stool?
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has 30.79 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, celebrity, drunk
Your mom is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fish, stupid, Yo mama
In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work. Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis. In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back. We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: family, time, work
Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
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has 30.74 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, black humor
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