Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A: A great place to start.
Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose?
A: They combed the area!
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake.
I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it.
The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.