CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Vote:
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
Vote:
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible.
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
There a ventriloquist telling blond joke .
A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know."
The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
An Irish man walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants.
"Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?"
"Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again.
"What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
I'm not paying," said the duck.
"I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."