Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose?
A: They combed the area!
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake.
I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it.
The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws.
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his.
Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Everyone left the bar and drove off.
Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him.
He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test.
The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."