"Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sunbath!
Knock-knock. Who is there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy Valentines Day!
What do you call a bunch of niggers in a school bus? A rotten banana.
What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’