Many people get valuable furniture on hire purchase, it’s not that expensive when they buy it, but by the time it’s paid for they’re usually antiques.
Harry applies for a job at a finance company, the manager tells him the job is his if he can crack their toughest account.
Harry goes off and comes back two hours later having recovered the entire amount.
‘Amazing!’ says the manager.
‘How did you do it?’
‘Easy,’ replies Harry.
‘I said that if he didn’t pay us, I’d tell all his other creditors he had.’
A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband.
The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed, so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man.’
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
Harry, to Tom: ‘I went to the dentist this morning.’
Tom: ‘So does your tooth still hurt?’
Harry: ‘I don’t know; he kept it.’
He used to drink so much, Gordon’s thought he was a wholesaler.
How do you determine a blonde’s IQ?
With a tyre gauge.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she’s pregnant.
‘We were kind of poor and my mother hated to spend a nickel on herself, so she bought most of her things in an army surplus store.
She was the only woman in Cleveland wearing khaki lipstick.’
Bob Hope
My uncle is very mean.
I went round the other day and found him stripping the wallpaper.
He wasn’t redecorating, he was moving.