Are you lost, ma'am?
Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote:
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Vote:
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common?
They're both stuck up cunts !