Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Vote:
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. "What's a light bulb?"
A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Vote:
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Vote:
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running up a hill?
A: Backed up sewage.
Vote:
How do you kill half of Ethiopia?
Throw a piece of bread off a cliff.
How do you kill the other half?
Tell them it still has not been eaten.
Vote:
Are you lost, ma'am?
Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote:
Q: How do you start a riot in Mexico?
A: You roll a penny
Vote:
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class?
A: your 25 year old mom.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."