Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A1. "What's a light bulb?" A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running up a hill? A: Backed up sewage.
How do you kill half of Ethiopia? Throw a piece of bread off a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them it still has not been eaten.
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Q: How do you start a riot in Mexico? A: You roll a penny
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."