Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand! 
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
Vote:
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Yo mamma’s so fat that if she wants to go piss the toilet would break!
What did one computer say to the other?
010101101010101010101
What do you call a black person thats light? Michal jackson
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza.
A: One comes out of the oven alive.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper.
"No, I'll buy the chocolate.
YOU give the money to charity!"
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.