What do you call a black person thats light? Michal jackson
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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza.
A: One comes out of the oven alive.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper.
"No, I'll buy the chocolate.
YOU give the money to charity!"
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
Harry’s so cheap, he didn’t buy his wife a pearl necklace, he got her a length of string and told her to start a collection.
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?
The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.