Q: Why did the astronaut retire? A: He got spaced out!
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Why did the blonde ask for some burned-out light bulbs? She needed them for her darkroom.
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big? A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? A Avalanche.