A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man.
The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?"
I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?"
"What choir?" he asked.
"Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied
"Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said.
I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled"
I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
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Yo Mama so ugly, that even titanium broke apart when it saw her.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself.
After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman.
The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
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Joke has 21.56 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!