I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants.
High five!
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
I was taken short in the back of a taxi.
Because of all the mess I gave the driver a ten-pound note.
Mind you it had only been a fiver before I wiped myself with it.
Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano?
His undertaker.
Golf
He’s in debt up to his eyes.
The only thing he’s paid for is his hat.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?"
I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?"
"What choir?" he asked.
"Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied
"Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said.
I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled"
I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
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