Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach?
Cats keep covering them with sand.
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!