There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky, when the notion of the motion was planted, in her dinky little head. With her butt in the air, while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest. Drunk and stupid and would not listen, smeared beyond recognition, she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.” Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. “Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time?” “Yes, sir,” answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath’s mother died. You’d better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. “Ok, men, fall in and listen up.” “Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward.” “Not so fast, McGrath!”
Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.