A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day.
The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs.
One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional.
The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.''
They asked the woman, ''What are you?''
She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Vote:
Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".