Best jokes ever

The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport, work
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs. One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional. The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.'' They asked the woman, ''What are you?'' She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: bar, sport, wife
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes.
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
Vote:
has 20.15 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
Q: Why do white people scare black people? A: Cause they always try kill your ass.
Vote:
has 20.04 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist, white people
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Vote:
has 19.95 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger
The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.” Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. “Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time?” “Yes, sir,” answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath’s mother died. You’d better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. “Ok, men, fall in and listen up.” “Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward.” “Not so fast, McGrath!”
Vote:
has 19.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
Vote:
has 19.74 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor
<<<1399140014011402
More jokes →
Page 1399 of 1426.