If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis