Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.