Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.