What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over?
Looking for low prices!
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
The wages of sin are death – but after taxes and NI contributions you’ll just end up feeling a bit tired.
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
After a few more he needs to go to the can.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying,
"I spat in this beer, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure.
Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
What's gray and powdery?
Instant Elephant.