Best jokes ever

In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat: In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet! In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.
has 18.43 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black people, old people, travel
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
has 18.40 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...
has 18.38 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
has 18.37 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Two men were sitting at the top floor of the Empire State Building. One man says to the other.. "You know, if you jump out the window here, the force of the wind will blow you back in through the window on the 90th floor.." The other man says "fuck off, you're jokin aren't u?" The 1st man says "No, here.. I'll prove it" so he stands on the window ledge and jumps out.. and comes back in thru the 90th floor window.. The 2nd man says.. "That was just a one off" So he does it again.. and comes thru on the 90th floor.. runs back up and says "See, im telling the truth" The 2nd man says "Wow, im gonna do it then" he stands on the window ledge, jumps out and falls to his death. The barman says to the first man.. "You know, you're a cunt when you're drunk superman.
has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, drunk
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, sport
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, lawyer
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
has 18.30 % from 4 votes. More jokes about: animal
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