Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shit.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Vote:
Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?
No!
Tell me about it.
It smells of $50 dollar bills.
Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck?
It was not enough sand...
What's a bee's favourite sport?
Rugbee.
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him.
"This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"
The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me."
The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room.
The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.
"Here's why."
The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air.
But he remains aloft!
"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."
He floats back into the room.
As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.
The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below.
He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.
Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air.
He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.
The first man grins and returns to the bar.
Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.
"You know," he says, disgusted.
"You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it.
So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!