Best jokes ever

What about Where does a General keep his Armys? In his sleevies!
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has 18.60 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: military
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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has 18.60 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, friendship, men, work
Q: Why are black people, pirates? A: Because they go nigarrr.
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has 18.43 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black people, pirate, racist
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...
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has 18.42 % from 433 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
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has 18.40 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
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has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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has 18.33 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, drug, music
Two men were sitting at the top floor of the Empire State Building. One man says to the other.. "You know, if you jump out the window here, the force of the wind will blow you back in through the window on the 90th floor.." The other man says "fuck off, you're jokin aren't u?" The 1st man says "No, here.. I'll prove it" so he stands on the window ledge and jumps out.. and comes back in thru the 90th floor window.. The 2nd man says.. "That was just a one off" So he does it again.. and comes thru on the 90th floor.. runs back up and says "See, im telling the truth" The 2nd man says "Wow, im gonna do it then" he stands on the window ledge, jumps out and falls to his death. The barman says to the first man.. "You know, you're a cunt when you're drunk superman.
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has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, drunk
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
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has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, sport
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