Best jokes ever

Born free. Taxed to death. A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present. He points out a bottle of perfume and asks
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has 17.41 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: money
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.
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has 17.36 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, flirt, sex, work
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, wife
Three blondes enter a bar. They are happy, dancing and singing. The barman asks them: What are you girls celebrating? We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish. So? The barman asks. On the box wrought 2-4 years!
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has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
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has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: sport
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
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has 17.29 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
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has 17.24 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
Hey babe, I'd like to take it your rack! High five!
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has 17.19 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 17.17 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids
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