How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman?
PC Plod.
A bear walks into a pub, and takes a huge bite out of the bar.
‘Get out!’ shouts the barman.
‘We don’t serve druggies.’
‘But I’m not a druggie,’ replies the puzzled bear.
‘Yeah?
Then what about the bar bit you ate?’
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said:
Whats up wet backs.
The first mexican said:
I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts.
The second old man said:
What the hells that smell, smells like beanery.
The second Mexican replies:
It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell.
The third mexican says:
YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell.
The third white guys says:
I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car?
2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny:
"Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
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