Best jokes ever

A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, wife
Three blondes enter a bar. They are happy, dancing and singing. The barman asks them: What are you girls celebrating? We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish. So? The barman asks. On the box wrought 2-4 years!
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has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: sport
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
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has 17.29 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"
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has 17.19 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: military
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
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has 17.19 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
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has 17.11 % from 471 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, morbid
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
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has 17.05 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, dirty, sex, women
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