A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q. How does a frog confuse you?
A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A: A Cold dog on a bun.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Vote:
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky,
when the notion of the motion was planted,
in her dinky little head.
With her butt in the air,
while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest.
Drunk and stupid and would not listen,
smeared beyond recognition,
she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
Born free.
Taxed to death.
A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present.
He points out a bottle of perfume and asks
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.