Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?
Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
Hitler is daddy!
Hump me!
Fuck me!
Daddy better gas them Jews.
My gas chambers love the smoke.
G-g-gas the Jews.
Vote:
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday?
A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
Vote:
What’s the difference between a nigger and a white man?
As much as you see with your eyes!
Vote:
Hey babe, I'd like to take it your rack! High five!
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in.
You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address.
She tells you to take her out today.
She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world.
You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy.
You run out as fast as you can.
You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two.
Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it.
You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter.
Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer.
You ask him why she called him daddy.
He says because that's my first name.