"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.
The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
Bad command or file name.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!