Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Vote:
With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: ‘My Novel’ not found.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs.
A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy.
And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds.
I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse."
Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far.
The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless."
Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq.
You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles.
President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.
There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
Why is it nice being a baby?
It’s a nappy time.
If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?