Best jokes ever

Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’
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has 78.84 % from 1142 votes. More jokes about: sex
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: "Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?" "No." "So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?" "Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
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has 78.84 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been fucked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
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has 78.84 % from 728 votes. More jokes about: black humor, romantic, sex, vulgar, women
Your mama so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
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has 78.83 % from 1448 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it. She's crying
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has 78.83 % from 526 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
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has 78.83 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, teacher
Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
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has 78.82 % from 1590 votes. More jokes about: new year, prison, racist
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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has 78.81 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
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