Best jokes ever

Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
Vote: has 78.67 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
Vote: has 78.66 % from 334 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
Vote: has 78.65 % from 303 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, phone, women
A couple have just had sex. The woman says, ‘If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?’ The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet. ‘Well,’ he says. ‘If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.’
Vote: has 78.63 % from 506 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
Vote: has 78.63 % from 225 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, sex
Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school." "How much special?" "Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."
Vote: has 78.63 % from 225 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school
God made each and everyone of us until he got to China. Copy paste...copy paste...
Vote: has 78.62 % from 894 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, god, racist
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Vote: has 78.61 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Vote: has 78.61 % from 287 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 873 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist, sex