Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? A: Dracula's dentist.
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."