Yo' Mama is so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020.
This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
Q: What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A: A Jew with a coupon.
Vaginas are like weather,
when it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Yo momma so fat she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.
Rappers are like the pens at the bank.
They all have chains on them, and don't write very well.
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
– Abe Lemons
Vote:
Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck.
Three sit in the cab and one sits in the bed of the truck.
The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots.
Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them.
"Where have you been?" they ask.
Clearly frustrated, she responds, "Well, you all forgot to open the tail gate!"
Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic."
Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war."
Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed."
Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive."
Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"