Best jokes ever

Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
has 77.95 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: school
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
has 77.94 % from 387 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
has 77.94 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, death, nerd
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
has 77.93 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.” The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”
has 77.93 % from 377 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, jewish, old people, priest
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
has 77.92 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
has 77.91 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once. Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’ Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?”’
has 77.90 % from 489 votes. More jokes about: sex
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
has 77.90 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: family, sex
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
has 77.90 % from 1405 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, sport
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