Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.