Best jokes ever

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.17 % from 369 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
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has 75.16 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
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has 75.16 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: kids, priest
Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.
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has 75.15 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed.
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has 75.15 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, work
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
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has 75.13 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, health
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!” And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
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has 75.10 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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has 75.10 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
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has 75.09 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: love, relationship, single
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
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has 75.09 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
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