Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama is so fat when she left the room everyone could breathe again.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
little Johnny: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight? Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right. little Johnny: Well, you could try.
Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"