Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a tree it made paper.
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.