Best jokes ever

Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships. Apparently, "in HD" wasn't the correct answer.
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has 74.91 % from 873 votes. More jokes about: lesbian
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
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has 74.91 % from 629 votes. More jokes about: sex
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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has 74.89 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, money
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: kids
At a Wednesday evening church meeting a very wealthy man rose to give his testimony. "I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I can still remember the turning point in my faith, like it was yesterday: I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today." As he finished it was clear that everyone had been moved by this man's story. But, as he took his seat, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said: "Wonderful story! I dare you to do it again!"
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, money, old people
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?" My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: internet, life
Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, stupid, technology
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
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