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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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More jokes about: music, wife, work
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. "And why not, darling?", the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
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More jokes about: bar, drunk, kids
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.
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