Best jokes ever

"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
Why Coffee Is Better Than Women: - A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. - You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. - You won't get arrested for picking up coffee on the street at 3 a.m. - You can make coffee as sweet as you want. - You can get cup after cup of different coffees all day long. - No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee. - Coffee doesn't talk to you. - Most coffee is hot, unless you request it otherwise. - Coffee stains are easier to remove. - Coffee is ready in 10 minutes or less. - When coffee gets cold, you can throw it away. - When you drink coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat. - Coffee doesn't take up half your bed and all the hot water.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
Wanna hear a pencil joke? Ugh, nevermind, it's pointless.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication
A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. "Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, friendship, lawyer
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money, political, weather
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
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