Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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