Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong.
And stop being a racist.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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