Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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