Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris.
It failed.
Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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