Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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