Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris.
Remember Atlantis?
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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