The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada.
Suddenly his car gets broken.
He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called.
But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!"
The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke:
"OK, chief, but why so much?"
At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby.
A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky...
The tribe signals:
"Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says:
"Haha nice one!"
and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
A: What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker?
B: A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another.
Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom.
"Tom what’s going on?" Mark asked.
"It’s my wife Beckie,"
Tom replied. "She ran off with my best friend!"
"Hey wait a second!" Said Mark.
"Aren’t I your best friend?"
"Not any more," Tom said with a happy smile. "He is!"
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
A:Because they can.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.