Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job.
You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while.
She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom."
"Why, what's his new job?"
"He's an embalmer."
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
Vote:
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits.
Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine.
Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie.
He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
Vote:
What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl's ass.
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life.
The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom.
She seductively asks her husband,
"Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?"
The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies,
"Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
In clas: 1+1=2
Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
Yo Mama So fat...
She sat on top of Walmart and lowered the prices.