A Mexican and a black person jump off a bridge, who wins?
Society.
Vote:
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Vote:
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A:It takes too long to retrain them.
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword.
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"?
Murphy replies, "What color?"
Vote:
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in."
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid.
"Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!"
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber.
"Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"