Best jokes ever

A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, "I would like to see a bikini that fits me." Clerk, "me too..."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: women
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, money
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Give her an M&M bag, and tell her to alphabetize it.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes? A: "Toes go in first."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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