Best jokes ever

Q: What comes before 8? A: My school bus usually.
Vote:
has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: school
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"
Vote:
has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: bar, money, stupid, wife, women
How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 713 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, work
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
Vote:
has 71.82 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: sex
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Vote:
has 71.81 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
Vote:
has 71.80 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay, money
In clas: 1+1=2 Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
Vote:
has 71.80 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: school
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Vote:
has 71.80 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
<<<313314315316
More jokes →
Page 313 of 1429.