Steve rushed into a crowded tavern on Saturday night.
Men and women stood 3 deep at the bar.
Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, looked about him but couldn't see anything that resembled a bathroom.
He saw a stairway and race up the steps to the second floor in his desperate search.
Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a one foot by one foot hole in the floor.
Now, at the end of us control, he decided to take advantage of the hole.
He dropped his pants, hunched over the hole, and did his thing.
Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the steps to find, to his surprise, that the bar which was crowded a few minutes ago, was now empty.
"Hey!"
He yelled to the empty room, "Where is everyone?"
From behind the bar a voice responded, "Where were you when the poop hit the fan?"
The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon.
A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says, ‘Congratulations!’
‘Congratulations for what?’ asks the lawyer.
‘We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.’
‘But that’s not true,’ says the lawyer. ‘I only lived to be forty.’
‘That’s impossible,’ replies Saint Peter.
‘We’ve added up your time sheets.’
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Vote:
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
Vote:
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort.
The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill.
He stopped indignant there and told to the child:
"You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do."
"I told them, sir."
"Well, what did they reply?"
"Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Vote:
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.