King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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