Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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has 67.62 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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has 67.61 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home. "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny. At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see good?" The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
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has 67.57 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
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has 67.57 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, dirty, sex
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
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has 67.56 % from 1526 votes. More jokes about: black people
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
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has 67.53 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: sex
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: IT
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you call a old snowman? Water.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: kids
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