Best jokes ever

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips." He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..." He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: money
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, viagra
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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has 69.39 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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