Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Republicans only seem to care about people's health when they haven't been born yet!
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Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.